At this festive time of year, in the best traditions of T.V. cooks like Gary Rhodes, Jamie Oliver, Delia Smith, and particularly the Galloping Gourmet and Keith Floyd, I thought I would like to share with you a recipe, for the best Christmas cake ever, handed down through several generations.
Merry Christmas.

CHRISTMAS CAKE
Ingredients:
16 ozs Flour
4 ozs butter
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 lb assorted nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Method:
Take a large bowl.
Pour one level cup of vodka and check it is of good quality.
The vodka should have a slight hint of vanilla for this recipe.
If you're not sure, check it again.
It must be of the highest quality and for the final appearance should be gin clear.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat half of the butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make shure the vodka is still OK.
Try another measure... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer. Fold in the flour taking care to.
While the mixture rests, treat yourself to another tot of the vodka.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt for the assaulted nuts.
Check the vodka, 1 heaped cupful.
Now shiv the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or shomefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Chuck utensils on the table as it comes past.
Finally, throw the bowl in the bin, finish the vodka and kick the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Very Good

Anyone lend me a cat?

Hi,

Jusht tried your rechipe, and I forgot to add the cake ingredientsh to the oven so I thought it besht to shtart again HIC!

Merry Chrishtmash everybody, and remember if at firsht you don't succeed, try, try, try again hic!

Best regards,

Dave and Eiam