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  1. #1
    Forum Regular สมาชิกประจำ
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    Default Wills After divorce

    Back ground info.
    I have been divorced for over 8 Years and remarried a Thai lady 5 Years ago.

    My Son and daughter have never seen my Thai wife.
    But they make judgement based on the things they read and what people say about Thailand

    My Son only has very limited contact. The last time I saw him it was over 18 moths ago.

    Now my EX wife died 2 weeks ago. I was informed by a friend who happens to be one of the two executors to the will I made with my Ex wife 15 or 20 years ago.

    My son telephoned to tell him that his mother had died, and to ask if he would hand the job of sorting it out over to himself and my daughter.

    The friend asked if had informed me and told him to do so,
    My son told my friend that he would ring me later that day. He did not in fact it took my son over a week.

    Now to the important bits. I do understand that divorce affects wills. My Ex had never made another she was in the process of making a new one but it was never finished.

    I don't think I would have any claim on her house car or contents of the house.
    As I understand it any reference to me will be removed. From the will.

    I do have some personal effects in the old house. I have asked for them to be returned to me Namely my Grandfathers gold watch and Albert Chain which he left to me in his will.
    Photographs of me and my old RAF pals.

    Can the executor old up proceedings until I get them back. He said he will fight my corner.
    We did have two but the other executor has died. So now its just the one.

    No doubt this scenario will have been experienced by others. If not looks like i am on my own

    Like to add this has prompted me to get my will sorted. ASAP

  2. #2
    R.I.P. colin244's Avatar
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    Interesting one vulcan, as if the will stated these were your items and were to be returned to you the executor should act accordingly with the wills wishes, if not I believe you will have to make a claim on the estate for said items stating why etc and the it is up to the executor to decide assuming nobody else has made a claim for the same items.

    However if the will leaves the items to another as a bequest you will have a fight on your hands proving ownership.

    I have been an executor 3 times already and are named in several more as people I know seem to think I am an expert but every will and every family is different, add to that the fact that people you thought you knew well will under these circumstances act rather different to what you expect especially with valuables and money.

    I wish you luck.

    colin 244

  3. #3
    Furniture เฟอร์นิเจอร์ the_link's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colin244 View Post
    I have been an executor 3 times already...
    It was nice knowing you, Col, and I've cancelled the Christmas card. Nothing personal, of course.

  4. #4
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    Thanks for your post Colin. You are quite correct every family is different. Mine very much against me.

    I did leave the watch and chain to my Son. In the original will. I have told him I would like it back it is still my property. I am not yet dead.
    The sole executor is a good friend. If he can I do know he will get my things back.
    Can he well that is the question? I hope he can but only time will tell.

    I would add that the original divorce agreement stated that my personal possessions should be returned to me.
    Asked for them many times but never got them.

    I could have pushed the issue but it would have cost me, I was hoping my Son and Daughter would come to accept me and that we could have had some sort of relationship. I do think now that will not ever happen.
    Do you know if they can act without the authority of the Executor. I would have thought not but I have not been in this position before.

  5. #5
    Moderator Tobias's Avatar
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    Default Wills After divorce

    Yes, the executor is in lawful custody of the deceased's entire estate. It is his job to deal with the estate, returning property to its rightful owner and to distribute and/or realise the estate.
    Tobias - โทเบียส

  6. #6
    R.I.P. colin244's Avatar
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    Assuming the said items can be found Tobias, as certain valuables in my experience have a habit of disappearing prior to the executor's involvement

    colin 244

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    Veteran ผู้มีประสบการณ์ Harvey at home's Avatar
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    Maybe unwanted advice Vulcan but I would say to you forget the objects in question and move on let them do whatever they wish to do.

    If they go against the principle of what was agreed then let it be them who are being seen as materialistic and money hungry, you say yourself the watch and fob was going to your lad on your demise , well let him have a "non contest" situation and let him keep the blinking things.

    You never know, more good may come from this type of action on your part then any attempts by you to get "Whats yours"!

  8. #8
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    Thank you Tobas. Much appreciated. Colin you are quite right. I fear that is what will happen.
    The photos have no value to anyone only myself.
    One in particular I would like back of a presentation to me by the Air Chief Marshal.

    Harvey. I don't think I will gain any brownie points if I just let them get on with it. Believe me. If I thought I would then that would be a result in my book.

    The way I feel at the moment if they play it the way Colin has suggested may happen then I might take action to sue them for the value.
    I could think differently later but at this moment in time that is how I feel

    You are all correct in what you say Big Thank You From Me for taking the Trouble to share your thoughts.
    For anyone who has not made a will don't delay get it sorted ASAP You never Know.

  9. #9
    Moderator Tobias's Avatar
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    Rather than pursue them for the value, why not make a claim against the estate? Just write to the executor advising of you claim to the items which belong to you and let him deal with it. As long as you provide him with a receipt for the items that's his back covered.
    Tobias - โทเบียส

  10. #10
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    Thank's Tobias. I cannot provide reciept's for any of the items.
    Other than my grandads watch and chain, None have any commercial value.

    The sole executor has told me he will make every effort to get them returned to me.
    If they need him to play ball with them, Then he holds the key.
    You say He is in lawful custody. That was great news for me
    That is why my Son and daughter wanted him to hand the job over to them.
    I have asked that he remains as Executor. He has said he is more than willing to act in that capacity.

  11. #11
    Moderator Tobias's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vulcan2 View Post
    Thank's Tobias. I cannot provide reciept's for any of the items.
    ...
    I don't mean that type of receipt, I mean a receipt from you to the Executor acknowledging receipt of your items from the Estate.

    Quote Originally Posted by vulcan2 View Post
    ... The sole executor has told me he will make every effort to get them returned to me.
    If they need him to play ball with them, Then he holds the key ...
    Moreover, he has a legal duty to hand them over if you can satisfy him they are yours!

    Quote Originally Posted by vulcan2 View Post
    ... You say He is in lawful custody. That was great news for me That is why my Son and daughter wanted him to hand the job over to them. I have asked that he remains as Executor. He has said he is more than willing to act in that capacity.
    He cannot be removed as executor without a court order and only then if there are compelling reasons for him to be removed.
    Tobias - โทเบียส

  12. #12
    R.I.P. colin244's Avatar
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    Tobias is right there have to be very compelling reasons to remove an executor as that is the person(s) entrusted to carry out the wishes of the deceased and believe me not an enviable job or responsibilty either as it gets no thanks (usually) and just a moral responsibility.

    Anyone in this position has to remove themselves from the equation as the rubbish will happen somewhere along the line despite how amicable all involved parties may seem.

    I echo what vulcan says about making a will and choose carefully the executors you pick BTW it it courteous and polite to ask them as I have been nominated without knowing in the past.

    colin 244

  13. #13
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    The executor has been to see the solicitor who we used to make the original will. The solicitor advised him to pass the promlem over to my 2 children.
    He told my friend that it was a lot of work so it would be better to hand the job to over to them.
    He has not done this at this moment

    Said when we made the will it was the corect thing to do because the kids were young at the time, but now they are adults things have changed.

    My friend has writen to my 2 children and also sent them a coppy of the my personal items that I would like to have returned to me. He has also asked them to contact him whith their thoughts on my request.

    For the leagal folks. Tobas Question can the kids access their mothers bank account sell her car or her house,
    Without the Executors permision If they have done that are they breaking the law ?

    If they have not said that she had a will maybe they can
    If they can then it makes you wonder why you bother with a will

  14. #14
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    Read Tobias' post of 25/10
    Lucky

  15. #15
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    Yes Lucky I do understand what Tobias wrote on 35/10
    But I was thinking if they do not mention that she had made a will and deal with another solicitor in order to access
    Her bank acount sell the car and house Ect. I would suspect that is unlawfull.
    But what do I know
    All I do know is that the kids want to use a different solicitor to the one that drew up our will That beggers the question Why

  16. #16
    Moderator Tobias's Avatar
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    In order to the deceased's property or remove funds from a bank account probate must be obtained - a Grant of Representation. This is applied for by the executor, where there is a will, or by the next of kin if the deceased died intestate.

    In this case there is a will and so the Grant of Representation will be given to the named executor unless he refuses to act. The beneficiaries are entitled to be independently represented if they so choose. The named executor should send a copy of the will to the next of kin. If he doesn't wish to act, he should let them know and they can proceed accordingly.
    Tobias - โทเบียส

  17. #17
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    UPDATE.

    One year on and things have moved on. the Executor was asked by my son if he would hand the job over to the Solicitor. The Solicitor who was in the process of drawing up a new will for my Ex. I told him that would be best as it was going to be stressful for him to deal with.
    To cut a long story short I have received a few Photographs including the one I wanted. I have agreed to let my son have the gold watch and chain. He has assured me he will hand it down to his son. The best thing to come out of this mess is that my son and myself are now on good terms.
    He is not happy with his sister, She said she wanted to buy the house and he agreed a price at 50% of her offer. Then at the last min decided not to go through with it.
    It has now gone to sealed bids.
    A result for me. I got a few things back And more importantly my son
    Just thought I would let you know. Time is a great healer and I had given up on getting anything.

  18. #18
    R.I.P. colin244's Avatar
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    Hopefully gives you some peace of mind as well vulcan.

    colin 244

  19. #19
    Moderator Tobias's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vulcan2 View Post
    ... A result for me. I got a few things back And more importantly my son ...
    What a thoroughly wonderful result, I am genuinely delighted for you


    Posted from an iPhone so what you read may not necessarily be what I typed!
    Tobias - โทเบียส

  20. #20
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    a good outcome for you vulcan2

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