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Thread: Wife's children

  1. #1
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    Default Wife's children

    Need help with this

    My wife has two sons, they live with her x husbands parents who are getting very old now, plus they have a daughter who needs special care. My wife does not have sole responsibility. Her x still visits them. My wife has now been here in England with me since June 2016. Since the date she moved here her x has stopped sending the children any money. It is just me and the wife that support the children now. I have been told that my chances of getting the children visas is hardly any chance due to not having sole responsibility. I don't know what I can do. Any suggestion has anybody had a simulare situation


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    Last edited by Tobias; 24th Jan 2017 at 13:18. Reason: Merged posts

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    It's true that sole responsibility is a large part of a child application, who currently makes the decisions on their schooling etc?

    Are the ex-husband and grandparents open to the children living in the UK?

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    Thanks scot. The grandparents and the farther want them to come to England this we have all talked about. The grandparents are getting old and have a special needs daughter that needs lots of taken care of. But I have been told that if the farther still sees the children we have little to no chance. I'm at a blank end on this one I think


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    Who makes the decisions for the children now? If it's not your wife then change that asap if possible.

    If everyone's agreed then it shouldn't be too much hassle getting a Kor Por 14 from their local amphur, it's not the be all and end all but it's evidence to add to the application.

    Another thing in your favour is you are the only ones providing financial support, obviously make sure you are keeping proof of that.

    Without me knowing any details and guessing, you could also highlight the grandparents ageing and priorities towards their daughter and if the father lives away due to work commitments and an inability (perhaps even an unwillingness) to care for his children.

    If you haven't already, look here http://thailand-uk.com/forums/showth...Responsibility

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    Thanks for info Scott. We are getting sole responsibility and Joe-pot- 14 in April when we go back. My wife had no choice but to leave the children with his grandparents as she never had anywhere to take them. When she was married and living in a house owned by his parents. The husband was working away and not sending back enough money for all 3 of them to eat. My wife had to find a job, which meant working away, which lead to there deprecation. My wife has been with her children since both there births. She has been away from them for one year, working but went back twice a year to be with them. She met me December 2014. I told her to go back home and I would support them all. She did not right away as her mother was dieing and she stayed with her for two months, then she returned to her children. She had one visit visa with me in 2015 to 2016 then went back to her children the spouse visa with me June 2016 and been here since that date


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    Chris, you seem to be doing what many others do - confusing Sole Custody with Sole Responsibility. The 2 are very different and you cannot 'get' sole responsibility, its something your wife has to show.

    My suggestion is that once your wife obtains sole custody, which incidentally she has under Thai law anyway (its the default situation under Thai law) , you get them to a relative, give it a year during which your wife exercises Sole Responsibility and then apply for their visas to the UK. I am not suggesting you lie but why would you have to mention that they have ever lived with their paternal grandparents? Your wife may always have taken Sole Responsibility as far as anyone knows.

    Be in no doubt that it is Sole Responsibility and not Sole Custody that will be foremost in the decision over whether they get a visa or not.

    You may though, be thwarted, as many are, by information divulged in your wife's visa application.

    If your wife has already divulged information that would compromise a visa application for her children, then there is only one way around it that I know of - and is something I heard someone else had done. Return to Thailand, take care of her children for some time - probably a year or so and apply then. If you cannot tick all the boxes at this stage, don't make the application - you are just giving information that mat be used against their application and once said, you can't go back on it.

    Oh, and how old are these children? The older they are, the less likely the visa.
    Last edited by Flip; 25th Jan 2017 at 19:24.

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    Hi flip

    She has no relative that has the room to take the children that is why she left them with his parents. If she did she would have taken them with her in the first place

    The children are 10 and 13. I don't think there is a way round it to be honest. I put on here to see if anybody new anyway


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    Did she mention where her children are living on her visa application or say anything else about them? All may not be lost. At 13 there is a reasonable chance - it seems to be increasingly difficult when the child reaches 15.

    It may also be worth having a word with an immigration lawyer............where is RichardB? If the children have nowhere to go, surely the UK authorities would have some sympathy? A lot depends on what information has already been revealed. PM me if you don't want to reveal what information about the children on your wife's visa application in public.

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    How do I pm you please


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    Chris, I have received 2 messages from you, one saying you've worked out how to PM me, the other asking if I got your message. That's all I've had, not your message. Try again but it could be tomorrow evening before I get back to you.

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    Hi flip

    At the time of my wife doing her spouse visa she was living with her children and this was shown on the application form, prior to that when she did her visit visa she was living with her children, due to me sending her back home, before she met me she spent one year away from her children due to working and having no money. Since she met me she had spent six months away from them on her visit visa then she went back with her children and now she has been away from her children since June last year hope this makes some sense


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    Yes it makes perfect sense and I don't think you have a problem but you'll need to be sharpish. I'll post more as soon as I can - mega busy with work.

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    Chris, based on what you say, I don't think you have a problem but.....I'm not an ECO - this is just an opinion.....

    In the cases I've seen that have been refused on the grounds that the mother didn't have Sole Responsibility, they usually go like this (briefly)........Wife has worked away from home, usually in Bangkok, for a long time and her children stay with their grandparents upcountry. Having married a foreigner, the first mistake is not to include the children in the wife's visa application. Anyway, on with the scenario......wife moves to the UK to live with her husband and sometime in the future, makes an application for her children to join her.

    The ECO considering the application makes the following observation........the children have lived away from their mother for many years. Whilst this is not at all unusual in Thailand, the wife has failed to establish that despite living hundreds of miles away (for solely economic reasons) and only visiting occasionally, she still makes all the major decisions in her children's life and oversees things like schooling etc. The children have lived apart from their mother for many years and as it appears the mother is not exercising Sole Responsibility, there would be little difference in them remaining where they are.

    Basically what the ECO is saying is that they are not a family unit now and it appears the mother has very little/no interest in her childrens lives.......... that's been the position for a long time - what's the difference? As the children get older, a successful application is less and less likely.

    In your case, your wife has taken care of the children for many years and only moved to the UK recently. Depending on what information was given in her visa application, could it not be that she wanted to be sure that she could settle in the UK before uprooting her whole family? Could this not have been the plan all along? You would have to establish how she has exercised Sole Responsibility whilst she's been in the UK - lines of communication with the kids, their school etc. The bit about having no chance if the father is still seeing the kids is simply not true. Providing you can show that he has not been part of the family unit for a long time and play down any visits he has made (knowing Thai guys I doubt that will be too difficult). What you will need is a letter from him stating that, he has a new family now/he lives too far away to visit often/he's too busy..........(get my drift) but he has no objection to the children moving to England.

    I'm not sure if a Sole Custody document is required but it certainly can't do any harm. However, I'm pretty sure that ECO's are aware that the mother having Sole Custody is the default position in Thai law.

    If I'm reading what you've posted correctly, believe me, we've had people with a far worse scenario post on here. I think the main reason for the problems is because people don't realise that they will be asked to prove Sole Responsibility. They may well exercise it but they don't give proof in the application and make statements that don't help at all.............such as "The children's grandparents have taken care of my child and taken care of all aspects of her life as I have worked 600km away in Bangkok. Once made, such statements are difficult to retract.

    It seems that nothing detrimental has been stated in your wife's application so now she just has to establish that the plan was always for the kids to join her once settled and that she has still taken the lead role in decisions affecting her children's lives, albeit remotely. Now she's established in the UK, she wants to reunite the family.

    Best of luck.

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    Flip your a star. Thanks for this information


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    Best of luck Chris, I'm not saying it will be plain sailing but as your wife has not previously given information that would be detrimental to the kid's applications, I really can't see why they will be refused. You need to prepare the applications carefully though. Do a little research on here and possibly other sites - I'm sure there will be a few success and failure stories - I think you'll gain a lot of information from the refusal stories.

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    This is looking impossible to do. Have talked to many people and they have all said that if the children still see there farther (even though he wants them to come to England) we go no chance of getting the children visa. Anybody know of any similar cases to mine that might be able to point me in the right direction


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    Unless your wife has 'sole responsibility' for the children there is very little chance that they will be able to join her in the UK.

    The only way forward is for you wife to start having sole responsibility by behaving as such and directing how the children live and malog all decisions regarding their welfare in the absence of their father. When an application is made for leave to enter the UK your wife will have to demonstrate she is de facto the one with sole responsibility.

    The fact that their father is now off the scene is a good starting point for acquiring sole responsibility and for her to take a more definitive role in directing her children's' upbringing.
    Tobias - โทเบียส
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    The farther is not out the Sean. That is the big problem. Even though he don't want them and does not support them he still visits them 2 times a year


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    Chris, I've never heard of any children being refused a visa simply because they still have a relationship with their father. It would be helpful if other members would post their experiences if anyone's been through a similar application.

    As I've stated before and as Tobias has re-affirmed above, Sole Responsibility is the thing you have to prove.

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    Thanks again flip banging my head here. Sole responsibility is the thing I think we can prove as my wife is the one that says what school they would go to etc. It's just that I asked an visa agent. Something I did not want to do. And there answer was that if the farther shoes an interest to the children we would probably not get the visa


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