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  1. #1
    Rookie มือใหม่
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    Default Thai GF in Korea has two young Kids, I want all in UK

    My Thai GF lives in Korea. I am 59 she is 41. She does massage and works all through the night. We met on tinder in Korea in mid July.

    We have since been together in Thailand for 2 weeks and in Turkey for 2 weeks and now I visit her for 1 week in Korea before xmas. I don't believe her work involves any sexual element, but I never even visited a massage place so I know nothing of this kind of thing.

    I want her in the UK with me next year. She has two kids 6 & 7 y.o. She has just completed divorce from kids father. Kids live with father and she seems to spend all of her time at work, including sleeping. I prefer kids to come with her to Uk, because I don't think she can have a happy future without them. Father wants her back. She thinks she can organise to have kids because she has most responsibility for them, with her mother who is also in Korea.

    I imagined she would come to UK for a month or two, we get married here and then she goes back to Korea to get kids. Now she says she wants to bring kids directly.

    It's hard to get a good clear picture of her situation with the distance and language between us; or at least I don't feel I have got a clear picture. I don't know about just taking some blokes kids half way around the world and if really he might be ok with it. I think there is recently friction between them.

    What is happening here? Can I get visas needed ? Any ideas for how this is going to turn out?

    Any help much appreciated. Cheers - Rich

  2. #2
    Forum Dinosaur ไดโนเสาร์ Flip's Avatar
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    Rich, with the greatest of respect - before heading off into visas and the like, I think you would be well advised to calm down a bit, look at the facts and see if you can deal with them.

    You say you don't think there is any sexual element in her work but you say she works all through the night. Maybe things are different in Korea but I doubt many guys decide to go for a plain massage at 4am. If it turned out that sex is involved, you need to decide whether you can deal with that now and in the long term.

    Secondly you say her ex wants her back and that there has been friction between them recently. Ask yourself, based on what you know not what she tells you - is that relationship over?

    I can see this all going South for you, I really can.

    If you sort everything out then subject to the usual conditions, there is no reason why you can't apply for a settlement visa with her. The kids on the other hand could be a different matter. If the children's father is Korean you need to find out what the law on taking children abroad permanently is in Korea. I can't be sure of this but I think the British Embassy will want some form of proof that the father gives his permission for the kids to go to live in the UK.

    I remember around 30 years ago, my ex met an American bloke and wanted to marry him and take my son to the USA. I point blank refused to give my permission as I would almost certainly never have seen him again.

    I'm guessing you are new to all this and know little about UK visas and the requirements. Not only are you likely to need the father's permission - are you aware of all the requirements you girlfriend will have to meet in order to get a visa? Your minimum income requirements to support her (more with 2 kids) - the requirement for her to have a certain standard of English when she applies - the huge cost etc. etc. I'd start doing some reading - plenty on this site if you look for it.

    "I imagined she would come to UK for a month or two, we get married here and then she goes back to Korea to get kids."

    Are you thinking she can just visit here and you can get married? If so, you cannot. If you want to marry in the UK, you need to apply for a fiance visa - not a recommended route as it involves an extra visa. That said, I've never heard of anyone applying for a fiance visa who is bring their kids too - not sure if that's possible.

    I don't want to go much deeper into the visa situation yet as I think you have some thinking to do but before it escapes me - keep this in mind. It is far easier to make a visa application to bring your wife and kids to the UK than it is for just her and the kids later. There can be all sorts of problems bringing them separately as I'm sure other members who've done it will agree.

    Anyway, you have lots of reading to do but I would look at the relationship first. From the brief description you've written is seems like one of those that's going to end in tears - only you know the true state of your relationship. Above all, slow down.
    Last edited by Flip; 4th Dec 2018 at 20:54.

  3. #3
    Premium Member Elad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flip View Post


    Are you thinking she can just visit here and you can get married? If so, you cannot. If you want to marry in the UK, you need to apply for a fiance visa
    Hi Flip
    She could actually visit the UK and get married on a 'marriage visit visa'
    It's basically the same as a standard visit visa but it gives permission to marry within the six months and it only costs £93, however, she must return to her home country and then apply for settlement.

    https://www.gov.uk/marriage-visa

  4. #4
    Premium Member ash's Avatar
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    How can she have most responsibility for the kids if they live with the father ?? Getting divorced confirms friction between them.
    Smell the coffee
    Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elad View Post
    Hi Flip
    She could actually visit the UK and get married on a 'marriage visit visa'
    It's basically the same as a standard visit visa but it gives permission to marry within the six months and it only costs £93, however, she must return to her home country and then apply for settlement.

    https://www.gov.uk/marriage-visa
    If the kids live with their dad I can see many stumbling blocks to this. Without his permission, as has been said, do you honestly think that he might give that permission? If you were their dad would you allow your ex to take your kids half way around the world?

    You are looking at around £10K just for her by the time you have finished as the cost of visas goes up by around 20% every April. She will need a TB test (around £80) and 1-3 language tests depending on how good her English is at £150 each. She will currently also need to do the Life in the UK test.

    You will need an annual income of £18,600 pa just for your wife to come to the UK. More for each of the kids. I around £2500 each, if I remember.

    In total you have been together for five weeks in a holiday environment and imho you really need to find out and answer many of the questions you have asked here.

    I met my wife in February 2015 and visited her three times before May 2015 before she applied for a visit visa. We then stayed together in the UK for 18 weeks and then a further 14 weeks before we made the decision to marry but we were together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week over that period.

    As others have said, slow down a bit. You are making a huge decision. I can see it ending in tears if you don't.

  6. #6
    Forum Regular สมาชิกประจำ PlymouthNick's Avatar
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    The red flags for me are...met on Tinder, 'I don't believe her work involves anything sexual', works all night, kids live with the father, ' I don't feel I have a clear picture'
    I think you are being very naive and would steer clear, but of course its upto you...good luck...

  7. #7
    Forum Dinosaur ไดโนเสาร์ Flip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elad View Post
    Hi Flip
    She could actually visit the UK and get married on a 'marriage visit visa'
    It's basically the same as a standard visit visa but it gives permission to marry within the six months and it only costs £93, however, she must return to her home country and then apply for settlement.

    https://www.gov.uk/marriage-visa
    I am aware of the type of visa but in fact it is not the appropriate visa for her.......from your link:

    Overview

    You must apply for a Marriage Visitor visa if:

    • you want to get married or register a civil partnership in the UK
    • you want to give notice of a marriage or civil partnership in UK
    • you’re not planning to stay or settle in the UK after your marriage or civil partnership
    • you meet the other eligibility requirements


    I can also see problems and possibly a refusal because that visa would be being used to marry a British citizen living in the UK - although it doesn't bar such a marriage, its not what such a visa is intended for. The thought would be that the applicant is simply trying to get into the UK on the cheap and will stay - I can see the authorities taking a hell of a lot of convincing otherwise. The 'reasons to return' requirement would be massive.

    That form of visa is not intended for cases such as the OP's and is not appropriate for his circumstances. Also, the OP has stated that his girlfriend wishes to 'bring ther kids directly' how would they claim it was just be for a marriage and be applying for the children to stay?

  8. #8
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    Default Thanks

    Thanks everybody for all your help, and being honest.
    I think I can manage the financial cost.
    I don't think I really want to snatch some blokes kids away without permission - and you have all made me more clear on that.
    I don't know what's going on with the massage through the night - or perhaps I don't want to know ! lol !
    Hope I will learn more next week.
    Thank again.

  9. #9

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    Maybe you should visit the massage parlour when she's not working, have a massage and see what's on offer?

  10. #10
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    2 kids at 6 and 7 now have a circle of life around them ,would they want to move i should imagine it would be hard ,and i say for this to be happy like you have posted wife and kids living in the UK this relationship has to be super super strong because it will be tested to the limit

  11. #11
    Premium Member ash's Avatar
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    No need to visit just look at the website
    Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen

  12. #12
    Forum Regular สมาชิกประจำ
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    I dont suppose the children understand English
    Melnathan

  13. #13
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    Hmm my Thai wife also worked in a Korean massage shop which was open until 6am. Only massage she said, I loved her dearly, put it this way, my son and I have left her. Who goes for a massage in the early hours between 12am and 6am. My friend previously you have been told the same on this thread, more is going on than massage I suspect. My wife lied to me, gambled our son over it. She lost everything now and admitted to me what really goes on. Be very careful.

  14. #14
    Forum Regular สมาชิกประจำ PlymouthNick's Avatar
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    I wonder how he got on.

  15. #15
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    Hi everybody

    Quick update, I have visited her in Korea before Christmas. I went to her massage shop; I thought I might come out much wiser but, well.. I got a massage and a tour around but I still don't really have any solid evidence of the way things are there.

    Anyway, apparently her ex. won't allow the kids to leave - as one might expect, I guess. So we applied for a visa for her to visit and it was issued early in Jan and she is flying tomorrow morning, via Kazakhstan.

    So we will now see how things go, and thanks for all of your help thus far. - Rich

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    Quote Originally Posted by rasg View Post
    Maybe you should visit the massage parlour when she's not working, have a massage and see what's on offer?
    Now that's not very nice.

    Sent from my G3121 using Tapatalk

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichE View Post
    I don't know what's going on with the massage through the night - or perhaps I don't want to know ! lol !
    Polite notice "may be you should start to wake up"


    Sent from my G3121 using Tapatalk

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