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  1. #21
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    You can have dual citizenship. requirement is 3 consecutive years with non immigrant viasa, they do 100 per country per year, this gives you permanent residency, cot citizenship Naturalised citizenship is after 10 years permanent residency, if still alive lol https://www.thaiembassy.com/thailand...-residency.php

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by ray8472 View Post
    I don't think this is uncommon. My wife has not been that happy in the UK also, and in the last couple of years it has been affecting her mental health a bit. For whatever reason she found it difficult to mix with Thai people here, or English people either. I think she was embarrassed about not being fluent in English. She had some friends over the years, but those always ended. It was always the intention that we would retire in Thailand when I finish work, but she couldn't last quite that long. We were due to retire together next year, but had to take the decision for her own wellbeing for her to go over there beforehand. She has been there since December last year, staying with her father. She gets frequent visits from family and lots of old friends. As she says, "Thailand is my paradise". She is on the path to recovery now and returning to her normal self and that is a huge relief to me. It brings a small tear to my eyes as I write this. Of course with LINE you keep in very regular contact. So I am making frequent short trips over there for the next 12 months, after which she will come back, we will sell the house and move permanently. Fortunately the relationship is strong enough for this to work.

    So yes a bit different from the original poster, I'm older with no kids and education etc to consider, and am finishing work with a very decent pension to rely on. But the same in that it is often difficult for people of a different culture to integrate and be happy.

    For the original poster - I think as people have suggested, if possible try and find a way for her to spend longer periods of time in Thailand. Difficult if you need her to have a regular income, and for childcare perhaps. 3 months in the UK followed by a month in Thailand, repeated, something like that could work except for the job and money situation. And I'm sorry to hear your story.
    One of the best reply's i have seen on here .
    I am not sure if any Thai is 100% happy being away from family /friends WOULD YOU ?
    They cope like my wife does and gets on with it she is not happy trust me but she gets on with it .one day when i win lotto she will be .

  3. #23
    Premium Member ash's Avatar
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    The OP has as previously gone away so its a pointless exercise debating this topic but my wife has been fine since she moved 16 years ago. The only time she was a tad unhappy was when her mother died in 2004 but given the choice she would not move back to Thailand although she would move back to Switzerland given the choice.
    Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen

  4. #24
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    yes ash you are probably right maybe a reword something like she misses and doesnt appreciate fully until it hits you in the face and then you say hang on a min am i sad or just need a break .

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samsung View Post
    One of the best reply's i have seen on here .
    I am not sure if any Thai is 100% happy being away from family /friends WOULD YOU ?
    They cope like my wife does and gets on with it she is not happy trust me but she gets on with it .one day when i win lotto she will be .
    Jenny loves living in the UK. She has lived in Europe far longer than she has lived in Thailand. She says she feels more European/British than she does Asian/Thai, and certainly her demeanor is definitely more western than Thai.

    Jenny is very much assimilated in to the UK and its culture and says she cannot envisage a time where she would consider returning to Thailand to live. She enjoys visiting Thailand (which she does several times a year) but always feels the UK is her home.
    Tobias - โทเบียส

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samsung View Post
    I am not sure if any Thai is 100% happy being away from family /friends WOULD YOU ?
    I was happy living in Thailand for years, didn't miss the UK, felt no need to return in that time, didn't know what was going on over there (bar the football), never gave anything there much of a thought. If I wanted to contact someone there was the Internet. Never got homesick. While I was there it was my home.

    I could be unusual but it's more people than places that have an affect. Would you rather be in a hole with someone you like or paradise with someone you're not so keen on? If you really love someone and you're with them why get homesick over other people and things?

  7. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by livingwithathaigirl View Post
    I could be unusual but it's more people than places that have an affect. Would you rather be in a hole with someone you like or paradise with someone you're not so keen on? If you really love someone and you're with them why get homesick over other people and things?
    I think the Thai family relationship will always be a bond difficult for us westerners to comprehend. My Mrs is so close to her mum they're not just mum and daughter but best friends too. I have placeted the desire to go back constantly by A. Bringing her mum here for a few months for relatively little expense and B paying for 1month+ trips once a year for her to go back there.
    We have 2 kids starting school September for one and next September the other so that is also helping to curb that flight instinct. On a side note about the kids our first child was a terrible experience with post natal depression and it was so so hard to not just let her go back permanently at that time. She has come through it all a stronger person.

  8. #28
    Veteran ผู้มีประสบการณ์ prikphet's Avatar
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    My missus relishes not being in Thailand and not dealing with the endless family disputes over nothing, occasionally she get's a little down but there's normally something here that's kicked it off - but even after years of trying it's still like getting blood from a stone when it comes to 'feelings', I've learnt that when she wants to share it I just have to time the questioning correctly (kind of like dealing with a teenager I imagine) - not sure if this is Thai or just women

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by walshie View Post
    I think the Thai family relationship will always be a bond difficult for us westerners to comprehend.
    At its worst, I regard it as a bit like being brought up in a cult - one where the kids are brainwashed into believing that they owe their parents an insurmountable debt that can never be paid back. Everything around them reinforces that - schools, peers, an unquestioning no-blame society. The kids know nothing else.

    Of course, the majority of parents are fine and loving and supportive but the environment encourages many unscrupulous parents to take advantage, controlling their kids lives and my experience of it is bad. I think it's only when I took my wife to the UK that she started getting her own life. I know she misses some things but I also remember that while we lived in Thailand she was so unhappy with the - as prikphet puts it - "endless family disputes over nothing", etc, that she was pushing me to take her to the UK.

    Even now, I'm wary of Skype calls. It seems to a cynical me that it's often just a way of keeping manipulation bonds strong while they're in danger of being eroded by us having our own kids and our own way of bringing them up.

    Having kids should strengthen the immediate family bond and Thailand and the importance of other relatives should naturally recede, shouldn't it?

  10. #30
    Premium Member Fruit Machine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by livingwithathaigirl View Post
    Having kids should strengthen the immediate family bond and Thailand and the importance of other relatives should naturally recede, shouldn't it?
    My wife has lived here in the UK with me for three years now and her family ties back home do seem to be loosening a bit.

    Slightly off-topic: Recently, for the first time in several months, she mentioned her sister. It would seem her sister wanted to have some pigs on land belonging to my wife, and as a caretaker for the land so-to-speak she thougtht that a quite reasonable idea. The idea was stillborn as my wife immediately scotched that idea. When I got to hear about it I told her she'd made a wise decision - millions of pigs are being culled across Asia owing to the swine fever. Thailand is still free of the disease afaik.

  11. #31
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    My wife couldn't assimilate but then I found the adjustment of being back after 12 years very difficult also. I remember coming in one Sunday afternoon at about 4pm. Dark and wet outside, thinking now what? Then looking at the wife thinking, what in God's name must she be thinking. This time last month we'd be on the beach, at a pool, at the market, out for a drive on the bike. I'm not saying the UK is all bad but when it comes to missing home it's also about the lifestyle, not only family.

    At year one of our relationship my respect levels and attitude towards the outlaws was at a very high level, as it naturally is when I meet family or friends of friends etc. Assume the best so to speak. As the years have passed, the trials and tribulations have accounted for so many emotions that it has worn me down completely, to the point at which I went through a phase of legging it every time I heard that annoying LINE ring tone, and I mean legging it. God's honest truth, my dog would come running up wagging his tail and doing circles in anticipation whenever that ringtone started, knowing he was going out for a marathon.

    However, as horrible as they have been towards each other, and me at times, they've also been decent. I'm now at the stage where I think all this 'Thai family secrecy, Thai family mystery, we'll never know what they know etc etc,' that I always hear people going on about, is pretty much nonsense. People on other forums and those you meet in Thailand love making this mysterious element up surrounding the country. It's as much a myth as the 'Land of Smiles,' thing. The same way there are 1 million different types of Thai smile. Don't touch Thai strangers on the head. Don't point your foot at them......It's all the stuff of fantasy.

    They are normal people who have good and bad families like every other country. The women are far more complicated (or less which may be the problem) than our own in the West, and are, in my experience, are a tonic that can kill or cure my day instantly. Most women can do that, that's why they exist, to slow men down!!!

    On the one hand, those parents who worked hard all their lives to get out of poverty deserve some help from their kids, as would our own. The others who sit back and ponce off everybody around them are vermin. Scroungers that would rather ponce than work. Dare I say it, but if Thailand had a social services system as screwed up as our own, whereby you can easily opt to scrounge rather than work, you'd probably see the element of family donations reduced a heck of a lot.

    They may have dramas on a different scale and celebrate in ways unaccustomed to ourselves but when you look at the whole Thai family scenario, they ain't that much different to rest of us. Outlaws will always be a pain in the proverbial, as will women. I'm waiting for the day a Thai soap series is actually based on reality. I reckon it would be massive. Jimmy McGovern's 'The Soi!'

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